I've been so busy keeping schedules, routines, trying to get work done, trying to make a success of my ideas, trying to get the kids fed and to bed on time, getting the laundry done, worrying about money, etc., I hadn't realized how much fun was no longer on the agenda. Sure I could squeeze some fun in, but only if I'd gotten everything else done first, only if I'd "earned" it. Otherwise I felt too guilty to enjoy myself when I hadn't made a sale that day, or if there was laundry to do.
A favorite book of mine is One Day My Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant. I purchased the book 10 years ago and recently decided to revisit it. I loved it the first time and am loving it again. This 'chapter' of Iyanla's book resonated so deeply with me I had to share it with you.
It's rather long (in internet time), so I've highlighted the same lines I highlighted in my own copy.
"Working Definition: the principle we are working with today is joy. FUN is the pursuit of joy. Activities that provide amusement and mental or emotional release.
Do you have toys? In case you have forgotten, toys are things you play with just for the joy of playing. I play with shoes. They are my toys. I go out searching for shoes. When I find them I try them on. Sometimes I buy them, but buying shoes is not playing with shoes. I play with shoes because it is fun. I also play with makeup. I have all types of makeup, and I have been made up at so many cosmetic counters I could have been charged rent. I buy makeup so that I can bring it home and play with it. I have so much fun making up my face that I have spent an entire day dong just that. I used to play with food. I would play with different recipes and make my family eat whatever I cooked. The cooking part was fun, but once food became so expensive, playing with it was a game I had to give up. The point I want to make is that it is absolutely necessary to spend some portion of life having fun.
We can get so caught up in the process of life, the responsibilities of life, what we want from life, that we forget to have fun. Life is a joke. It is absolutely hysterical. If you think about some of the things that go on in life, you would have to choice other than to laugh. Life is a game. Games are intended to be fun, but we work at our games and turn our games into work. We get so caught up in the work portion of life that we forget to play. We forget to have fun. This is where toys can become very helpful. When you commit some time each week to playing and having fun, life gets much easier. When you realize there is more to life than working and paying bills, when you have something fun to look forward to, life takes on a completely different tone. Fun gives you a new outlook. It helps you expand your mind and your spirit. It keeps you young and vibrant. Fun allows you to think about something other than what you don't have or cannot do and the places you wish you didn't have to go.
Fun is absolutely free. If you don't have toys, you can always get naked. Just take your clothes off and stand in front of the mirror. I guarantee that there will be at least one thing about your body that you can laugh at. If laughing at yourself is too traumatic, laugh at somebody else. I sometimes point and smile at people as I drive by. They are totally shocked. Sometimes they smile back, but more often than not they look around to see who I'm smiling at, knowing it can't be them. We are so serious about life we don't think we should we should smile at one another, particularly if we don't know one another. I have fun pointing and smiling at people. I have even more fun winking at men. They love it. If you do it the right way, their face will crack with a big smile. Of course, it's safe because I can pull away when the light turns green.
When was the last time you played dress-up? Or threw a water balloon at someone you know? When was the last time you had a talent show with your children or friends? There are so many simple things we can do to bring joy and laughter into our lives. There are many non-competitive, non-intellectual things you can do just for the fun of doing them. You can miss the news for one night. You can finish the book tomorrow. The laundry can stay in a neat and orderly pile just a few more hours. Right now, you need to go and have some fun. Go on. Find something fun to do and do it."Life should be fun. Of course we have our responsibilities and routines are important. But to go through each day, head down, focused only on those things we feel we need to get done? That is a waste of the beauty and opportunity for happiness that is in front of us everyday.
Time to take a deep breath, close the laundry room door and go find some fun.
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